Without Sugar (a broken heart is what makes life so wonderful... five years later)

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Second, Ralph regresses in this movie into his old insecure self and practically hyperventilates at the thought that he and Vanellope will no longer be attached at the hip. Defective code as a metaphor for human flaws? Trust me, I get it — the film is not subtle about delivering its message. Read next: Meze 99 Neo Review: These gorgeous headphones are perfect for the budding audiophile. Sit back and let the hottest tech news come to you by the magic of electronic mail. Prefer to get the news as it happens? Follow us on social media.


Got two minutes to spare? We'd love to know a bit more about our readers. All data collected in the survey is anonymous. Hard Fork! Hard Fork? Hard Fork. Distract Internet Viral video. I thought if I could be the person I was supposed to be, I would make myself okay. I would be better. It was a lie I told myself.

I love him. I spent a week in a psych ward for depression a few years ago because I just needed to put the brake on and knew that the only way to get through to him was something drastic: either I killed myself or I got help. I got help.

Tiny Beautiful Things: Advice on Love and Life from Dear Sugar by Cheryl Strayed

However, the mask was back in place as soon as I was released, and my therapy was a joke. Nothing changed, and I feel myself reaching the breaking point again.

I no longer have any urge to kill myself, and can recognize my own warning signs, but I do need a break. Pretending is tiring. My health has suffered over the past few months. We finally bought our first house, and most days I sit around it weeping. He has worked hard to allow me to stay home though we have no children. If I left, he would become a pariah in our church community, where we are currently leaders. He does not believe in divorce, unless I cheated on him.


I no longer know what I believe. If I confronted him about how I feel now, he would feel betrayed by me, and I would feel horrible. My fear is that, as usual, if I say something, we seem better for a time, and the cycle continues. I am tired of the cycle. Where is the line, Sugar? Do I stay and rub myself out until maybe I am the person I was always expected to be? Is this just what it means to be an adult?

I never had a good example of a marriage until I was already married, in my in-laws, and we do not look like them. But could we, in time? How long do you try before you admit you will never be that person? I accept the responsibility for making such a mess of my life. It seems inevitable in hindsight. I am a woman in my late twenties who has dated the same guy for almost three years and lived with him for almost a year. All of my friends seem to be getting married and I feel as though I should be considering marriage, too. However, the thought of marrying my boyfriend makes me feel panicky and claustrophobic.

I find myself fantasizing about dating other people. I find my respect for my boyfriend waning. Actually, it feels like hell. My husband loves me, adores me, worships the ground I walk upon—despite the fact that I am oftentimes distant, morose, and completely repulsed at the idea of having sex with him. Oh yeah, I also cheated on him. A year and a half ago, a flirtatious dalliance with a co-worker turned into a tumultuous affair that created a shitstorm in my personal life and an aftermath of what seems like irreparable damage.

I met my husband almost ten years ago when I was in my early twenties. We got married after six years of dating because marriage was the next step. In response to the mounting pressures of our relationship, I began to numb myself to the niggling sense that something was wrong. All the same, the growing sense of desperation and loneliness kept rising. Long story short, after close to eight years of being completely faithful to my husband, I met Mr. He turned my life upside down. There HAD been something missing in my marriage.

Of course, my husband was devastated. So was I. We tried couples counseling and had a trial separation neither was very helpful. My husband has so many hopes for us, but unlike a lot of people who describe the fire in their marriage fizzling out after a few years, I can honestly say that there was never any fire between us.

I never felt a truly soulful connection was there. There was never any passion or romance or chemistry—just a scared, confused twenty-two-year-old who was afraid of being alone and decided to stand by the first person who ever stuck around. All of this is doubly complicated by my affair, which had a few false finishes but finally ended a few months ago.

It was just a cheap, unethical rendezvous with someone who had little interest in me beyond the sex. My entire life has been ripped apart by this. On certain days, I feel strong and resolute; on others, I feel like a selfish, unfeeling cow who is incapable of truly loving someone. In following what I think is my intuition leaving my husband , am I deluding myself and making the affair more significant than it actually was?

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And how can I possibly bear leaving, when that means I would absolutely break the heart of someone I love so much? More than anything, I wish I had it in me to learn to accept what happened and accept myself, as well as make sense of the whole mess, but I just keep spinning in that hamster wheel of indecision.

I have deep faith in what you write. Thank you. There are truly harrowing experiences that your readers share, through you, with us.